BEC

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Right now I’m BEC with my mother.  Like any mother and daughter, we’ve had our ups and our downs. We had been having a lot of ups until recently.  I love my mom but a lot of times, I don’t like the way she treats people.  Especially retail workers.  If she has to wait longer than a few minutes in a line, she gets bitchy.  If an item isn’t ringing up right, she gets bitchy.  She’s never had to work retail but I have and I’ve explained how complicated their systems are.  Especially for a place like Macy’s where they are always having to keep up with new sales.  It’s not the cashier’s fault.  And the cashier doesn’t know every single sale price of every item.  She gets mad if they are new and doesn’t do it fast enough.  It’s embarrassing and rude.

My cousin made some life changes in the last year or two.  She’s an adult and she’s allowed to do that.  But since she lived with my mom for a few years, my mom seems to think my cousin should do exactly what she says or else she’s a big piece of shit.  My cousin is one of my best friends.  We recently had a death in the family and my cousin was 100% my rock through the entire time.  She really stepped up and helped out with the funeral and after funeral stuff.  My mom still treated her like a big zero.  It breaks my heart to see my mom treat her like that.

So today I call my mom since I haven’t really talked to her much this week.  I’ll be honest, I needed a break from her.  She launches into how we need to come over for Father’s day and grill…. Ummmm it’s my husband’s day.  My mom’s husband doesn’t have kids and has never acted like a stepdad to me or my sibling so why she seems to think it should be all about him is beyond me.  I was pretty mad that she hadn’t taken into consideration about what my husband wanted to do that day.  I was too stunned to really say anything.  DH said he didn’t want to spend the day there and of course, I want to do whatever he wants to do for that day.

And lastly, my mom keeps saying how much she misses the kid.  We live 15 minutes away from her…at any time she could come over and see the kid but she doesn’t.  It’s all on me to bring the kid to her.  Now that’s just not cool at all.  I grew up with two sets of grandparents who fell all over themselves to hangout with their grandkids.  My dad lives far away but he makes every moment count when he’s here or we are there.  I think my mom is pissy that I’m spending a lot of time with my cousin.  So sorry she’s fun to hang out with?

And honestly, at any point I can put on my big girl panties and use my big girl words and tell her how I feel but I’ve done that before and we didn’t talk for years.  Literally years.