To glitter bomb or not to glitter bomb

That is the question.

My mother has been an epic cunt for a while now.  She’s also a super drunk now which is completely weird for me.  She’s hooked on wine.  Can’t live without it hooked.  Drinking before going out to eat at a place that has to have wine kind of hooked. Any wine works but red is preferable.  God forbid you get her a fancy dessert wine from George Washington’s own plantation.  But she’ll happily drink your Hello Kitty red wine even though it’s disgusting.

She last saw the kid a year ago next week.  Too drunk to get up to trick or treat with him.  Even though she begged for us to go come her neighborhood. That’s when I knew I had to build a little bubble for me and the kid.  He’s old enough to know what’s going on these days and I can’t have all that happening.

I still have a ton of anger, obviously. I think she’s selfish.  I think she’s sad. And I think she’s very very unhappy even though she has everything she wants.  It’s odd. The psychologist in me would love to poke around in her brain and see why she’s so damn unhappy.  The daughter in me just can barely function at this happening yet again.  And the mother in me is angry that she didn’t just walk out on me, she walked out on him.

So as per the anger and probably a little bit of a fuckery habit, I’ve been considering the art of the glitter bomb.  The idea is the recipient opens it and glitter goes every where.  This is funny.  My mom and her husband are clean freaks so this would be double funny.  And a little fuck you to her for what I think of as our little anniversary of me finally seeing she’s a shitty mother.

 

 

Dear Abby and the Case of the Halloween Cats

So Dear Abby has a letter today about how you should keep your cats inside at Halloween. And not just if you have a black cat.  All cats.  Because some people still believe in Halloween cat superstitions.  What the fuckery is this about?!  Since when is there a rash of cat pranks going on during Halloween?  And what Halloween superstitions are there other than black cats are bad luck?

It’s not like I have to worry about this.  I have 3 cats and they all live inside.  They wouldn’t survive in the real world.  They lack the proper cat  skills.  Outside is way too far from the food dish.   I have a cat that hides under the bed when it rains.  A cat that only gets off the couch to eat or go to the bathroom.  I poke her to make sure she’s still alive every once in a while.  She’s used to it by now.  And I have a cat that eats marshmallows.  So three out of three that wouldn’t survive if they were chosen for the Cat Hunger Games that apparently happens on Halloween.  My couch cat eats plastic if she’s out of cat food.  Shit, she’ll eat the tops of cupcakes on the counter if you leave them out at night.  A bite out of each one.  And she’s diabetic.

Well, non-cat superstition related, I just spent half an hour trying to figure out how to change the font color on here.  Xanga, this is not.  There’s barely any themes.  I’m not savvy enough to fix that so I’ve put feelers out to some friends.  Why does it have to be so complicated?!

I’ll be posting regularly now so get ready!